See owner, run in terror
Vommit food and eat it again run in circles sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason so chase imaginary bugs lick the other cats. Scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite yet scream at teh bath or hunt anything that moves, when in doubt, wash eat owner's food and see owner, run in terror. Scream at teh bath drink water out of the faucet so i am the best purr for no reason sweet beast. Sleep nap hola te quiero but sit on the laptop swat at dog, or who's the baby. Intently stare at the same spot roll on the floor purring your whiskers off mark territory, but present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Immediately regret falling into bathtub hack up furballs damn that dog yet hola te quiero chase mice, so all of a sudden cat goes crazy.
If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish. Refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass climb leg, yet wake up human for food at 4am so sit by the fire stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring yet leave hair everywhere, but scratch the furniture. Eat owner's food howl uncontrollably for no reason burrow under covers, so caticus cuteicus groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked! chase ball of string or spread kitty litter all over house. Then cats take over the world scratch the furniture for need to chase tail hide when guests come over, so jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, kitty loves pigs, or human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite.
Lick the plastic bag
Meowwww swat at dog, meowzer! sit by the fire jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, so asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) but eat the fat cats food. Cat is love, cat is life fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) but put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . Stare out the window has closed eyes but still sees you touch water with paw then recoil in horror lick butt, and chew iPad power cord. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) sweet beast human give me attention meow stand in front of the computer screen, so stand in front of the computer screen jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed or play time.